NO NOT THE SWORD FIGHT NOT THE SHOEHORNED IN STUPID RIDICULOUS OOC SWORD FIGHT
WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME, MOVIE? WHYYYYYY IT ISN’T THAT HE LOST IT’S THAT HE ACTUALLY WAS INVOLVED WHYYYYYYY JUST WHY WHAT IS THAT WAS SO STUPID AND HOW DOES RAOUL NOT HAVE HYPOTHERMIA OR SOMETHING JUST UGH SO STUPID.
Okay, movie, you cast a youngish, handsome actor as the Phantom. Why did you tone down the make-up/prosthetics to the point of them barely existing?
Seriously. Most women watch this movie and look at Erik and go:
SERIOUSLY HE ISN’T HOMICIDAL OR UNSTABLE ENOUGH TO MAKE UP FOR THE LACK OF UGLY. CHRISTINE IS PORTRAYED AS JUST AS UNSTABLE IN THIS MOVIE, THEY KIND OF MAKE A GOOD FIT AND IT’S GERARD BUTLER WITH LIKE THIRD DEGREE SUNBURN ON A THIRD OF HIS FACE.
ALSO I CAN’T TELL HOW OLD HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE BUT I THINK HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE OLDER THAN GERARD ACTUALLY IS BUT GERARD LOOKS REALLY YOUNG IN THIS, LIKE MAYBE A COUPLE OF YEARS OLDER THAN RAOUL SO A FEW OLDER THAN CHRISTINE AND JUST SO THE CREEPY AGE GAP IS HARD TO REMEMBER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.
WHY ARE YOU DESTROYING ALL THE ICKY CREEPY PARTS OF ONE OF MY OLDEST SHIPS?!
AND WHY IS CHRISTINE SO DUMB???? SHE WASN’T THAT DUMB IN THE BOOK SHE WASN’T SHE WAS A CLEVER GIRL AND SHE SAVED RAOUL AND IT WAS MUCH, MUCH BIGGER IN THE BOOK AND MORE OF A SACRIFICE HOW IS IT A SACRIFICE IN THIS MOVIE?! GERIK IS PRETTIER THAN RAOUL AND HIS AWFUL OILY HAIR THAT NEEDS TO BE CUT AND WASHED. A LOT.
I eagerly await the day when they make a POTO movie that's supposed to be an actual movie adaptation of the original novel.
Not someone else’s version of the basic premise. That takes out important characters and elements and makes Christine into a dolt and makes Raoul more of a hero than he is and overly romanticizes Erik and just, yeah.
Okay, legit question: is this movie romanticizing Erik/Christine even more than the normal musical, or is it trying to make it creepier?
Cause I can never tell. They cast someone rather young and incredibly pretty (and pouty!) for Erik, and amped up the sexiness factor between Erik and Christine. But they also make this Christine even more naive and play up the ‘Christine keeps thinking it’s her father’s ghost and might be wrong in the head’ angle.
Sansa:I think we ought to try again, just to be sure that I'll be with child for sure.
Sandor:Seven Hells, girl; isn't five times in one night enough? I'm not a pup anymore. I need my rest.
Sansa:B-But I want babies--lots of them! *sigh* Fine. *pause* Sandor, what are you think? I hope you're thinking about me. I've thought about you for all this time. Remember when you kissed me--
Sandor:Little Bird, while I had every intention of taking more of a song, something called love prevented me from doing that to you. We. Never. Kissed. Until. Spring.
Sansa:We did too! Anyway, if it's a boy, I want to name him Eddard, and a girl, Catelyn. I don't approve of Arya's suggestion of "Ugly Toad," since I find it unseemly to name a child that, and--Sandor, are you sleeping while I'm speaking to you?
p.s. have I mentioned today how much I fucking hate Littlefinger? I fucking hate that dude. just in case we forgot: this is the man who, under the pretense of “finding a place for her”, sold poor Jeyne Poole, a terrified eleven year-old girl terrified that her father had…